CJ song (by not me)

I CJ in the morning, I CJ after dark.
I CJ in the garden, and I CJ in the park.
I CJ when I'm shopping, I CJ everywhere,
and when I sit and CJ, then people sit and stare.

I CJ on my lunchbreak, I CJ at the pub.
I CJ when I'm making tea, I CJ in the tub.
I like Isolations, and Bodyrolls, and Stalls,
and I've heard every joke there is about 'playing with my balls'.

I CJ in the office, I CJ on the street,
where people come and stop me and ask me if I cheat.
No it isn't magic, and no i don't use strings,
or magnets, static, anti-grav, or any other thing.

I like to have a beer, or smoke some subtle blends,
But nothing beats a cuppa when you CJ with your friends.
I'm just a friendly person, with a single tiny flaw:
I'm a pompous, cocky, arrogant attention seeking whore.


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Some ask if what i do is mime,
some ask me why i waste my time,
some ask if i can do it blind,
and some people stand and take the piss
but nearly everyone asks me this:

Can I have a go?
well, the simple answer's "no".

Seriously, it takes a lot of training
so please stop complaining
when i tell you, with affected grace
that the ball is expensive to replace
but despite my best attempts
I can see in your face,
that you are disapointed.
But please, if you enjoyed it,
and liked the things i did
leave a small gratuity
in the hat, sat next to me.
And next time, when walking by
think "that's a guy
who stands and works, and doesn't get paid,
except by voluntary contributions made
by people, passing on the street.
People, just like me."